A little over a year to go

This week has been considerably better than last in some ways, and not so much in others. I feel like I'm in a hurry, hurry, HURRY to get certain things done, but then I sit back and think about the amount of time I have and I wonder if I'm overreacting and being silly about it all. Then I read little blurbs in magazines or online about how I'm right on track with what I should be doing, and I feel a bit better.

Today, I finally nailed down base budgets for 3 different places, and feel like I can call and have a real conversation with my dad now. The budget is based mostly on what I've learned from 3 different venues, what they have to offer, and then the additional costs that I can figure out on my own for now. I have an idea of what the dress will cost, but as for alterations and the veil and stuff? Dunno. My twin really wants to do the flowers, and has assured me it won't be a pain (I want her to come into town and have a good time without having to worry too much about details like decor, you know?), but I haven't the first clue what they might cost, so I'm not even adding that into my budget. Basically, I've looked up a couple of DJ's, photographers, cake creators, and seen a wide variety of dresses, and I've based my numbers on those sorts of things, putting in an average number for most items.

It hasn't been easy. But then again, not a lot of big purchases I've made over the past 4 years have been, so why should this be any different, I wonder?

Jesse has been really kind and supportive over the past couple of weeks, helping me in the kitchen even after he gets home from a grueling 11 hour day in his work kitchen, and trying to keep me on track with my new eating plan. (I started the eDiets.com Glycemic Impact "diet" about 5 weeks ago, and have really loved it so far. The only problem is the amount of preparation it requires for meals the next day, but I've found that making large amounts of certain meals ahead of time, like I did this last Sunday, saves me money, time, and from spending nights bent over the stove instead of doing what I really love - like doing laundry and watching t.v.)

As up and down as my mood swings have been, we've really been doing well when it comes to talking about our plans, both for the wedding as well as our life beyond that. (I'm quite tired of his jokes about children and stuff, though. Ok, not really...the way he kids with me about children really shows me how well he knows me. It's funny and endearing at the same time!) Last night, while discussing the issues he has (yet again) with the amount the food costs at the Hotel Phillips, I turned to him and told him, "PLEASE! Stop thinking about money...leave that up to me and my dad." After I paused for a moment, stirring my ground turkey and salsa concoction in the saute pan on the stove, I turned to him again and said, "You don't understand, do you? I thought I would have to wait until I was like, 65 to meet you! I have been waiting for this for a LONG TIME, and we're going to throw a party to celebrate it that will make us happy as hell!" He just stopped and said, "Can I get a hug then? I think we both need a hug." And he was right. :)

So. Budget is coming along, my mood swings are right on track, it seems, finding time to plan and work my regular job is proving to be a bit of a challenge (it's been hard to focus at work, and this week really proved to me how crappy I've been at keeping up with everything since the proposal, unfortunately...I'm hoping to remedy that over the next week or so), but it's all working out. For now, anyway. Makes for a boring blog, I'm afraid, but hey, I'm sure that'll change with time...